They say that as one door closes, another one opens. Boy does that ring true for me at the moment.
I was supposed to be meeting my boyfriend David in Thailand for a quick break over Christmas before heading back to the real world. For weeks we've been exclaiming how we wish we could share the last leg of my African adventure together, but in the end we always realised that the 'real world' makes this very difficult.
HOWEVER... somehow the stars aligned for us in the past few days, and David has managed to get leave from work and join me two weeks early!! We meet on Saturday in Dar es Salaam, and from there we'll do an overland safari together and arrive in Dubai just in time to celebrate his birthday. And of course, then Phuket for some sun and relaxation remains on the agenda for 16 days over Christmas!
I am absolutely over the moon. This wonderful man set me free to find my feet in Africa, and now he is not only about to welcome me home with open arms but also to join me so that we can forge our own adventure together!!!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Goodbye little friends
I said goodbye to my babies yesterday. The day started out okay - I was frantic with last minute preparations for my trip to Zanzibar and onwards, and had to go into town to collect money for my trip in the morning. So it was all a mad crazy rush.
I eventually arrived for my last shift in the newborn nursery and was thinking to myself that with all the preparations to distract me, it wasn't as difficult as I was worried it would be. That all changed about 10 minutes before the end of my shift. I was nursing baby Nancy, and looked up and saw what time it was and all of a sudden, there was a torrential flood of all of my emotions from the last 3 months. I thought about all the little faces I have come to know and love, the smell of clean, soft baby hair, the feel of a warm, tiny body in my arms. When would I next experience such a beautiful moment?? I was a complete wreck. I managed to compose myself just enough so that the nanny on duty didn't see the crazy weeping Aussie woman sniffling into an infant's hair (which smelt like Johnson's Baby, and set me off even further!).
Saying goodbye to the munchkins in the 'big house' (the bigger babies, from 4 months to 2 years) was even worse. I actually felt my heart break when I saw Rosie sitting in her little swing chair. If it's even possible, she was MORE delightful and chirpy than usual and gave me suuuuch a big cuddle. I had her fat little arms in my hands and I thought about how they would look a year, 5 years, 10 years from now. Eventually I had to let her go, and she started HOWLING and crawling after me as fast as her little body could carry her. The thought of leaving her behind still makes me sick to the stomach.
As we got in the cab to go to the airport, Mama Musa assembled the toddlers (Julie's little class) in the window to bid us farewell, and it was poignant and painful.
I'm in Zanzibar now and have had a little time to reflect since my departure. It WAS heartbreaking to say goodbye to those children (particularly those little ones who had an extra special place in my heart). And my stay at the baby home for the past 3 months has done wonders for my sense of perspective, my health (mental AND physical) and general outlook towards my future. But, a truth I realised was that I personally couldn't have stayed a day longer. Three months at the home and far from my own family and friends with the innumerable daily frustrations to send me bonkers was JUST enough, or I may quite possibly have gone mad.
I am comforted that Davona, the director of the baby home will continue to do an amazing, courageous and inspirational job and student missionaries and volunteers will continue to come to the home, to help fill the childrens' lives with love and joy.
I eventually arrived for my last shift in the newborn nursery and was thinking to myself that with all the preparations to distract me, it wasn't as difficult as I was worried it would be. That all changed about 10 minutes before the end of my shift. I was nursing baby Nancy, and looked up and saw what time it was and all of a sudden, there was a torrential flood of all of my emotions from the last 3 months. I thought about all the little faces I have come to know and love, the smell of clean, soft baby hair, the feel of a warm, tiny body in my arms. When would I next experience such a beautiful moment?? I was a complete wreck. I managed to compose myself just enough so that the nanny on duty didn't see the crazy weeping Aussie woman sniffling into an infant's hair (which smelt like Johnson's Baby, and set me off even further!).
Saying goodbye to the munchkins in the 'big house' (the bigger babies, from 4 months to 2 years) was even worse. I actually felt my heart break when I saw Rosie sitting in her little swing chair. If it's even possible, she was MORE delightful and chirpy than usual and gave me suuuuch a big cuddle. I had her fat little arms in my hands and I thought about how they would look a year, 5 years, 10 years from now. Eventually I had to let her go, and she started HOWLING and crawling after me as fast as her little body could carry her. The thought of leaving her behind still makes me sick to the stomach.
As we got in the cab to go to the airport, Mama Musa assembled the toddlers (Julie's little class) in the window to bid us farewell, and it was poignant and painful.
I'm in Zanzibar now and have had a little time to reflect since my departure. It WAS heartbreaking to say goodbye to those children (particularly those little ones who had an extra special place in my heart). And my stay at the baby home for the past 3 months has done wonders for my sense of perspective, my health (mental AND physical) and general outlook towards my future. But, a truth I realised was that I personally couldn't have stayed a day longer. Three months at the home and far from my own family and friends with the innumerable daily frustrations to send me bonkers was JUST enough, or I may quite possibly have gone mad.
I am comforted that Davona, the director of the baby home will continue to do an amazing, courageous and inspirational job and student missionaries and volunteers will continue to come to the home, to help fill the childrens' lives with love and joy.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Finally, (a few) pictures!!!
This is the best I could do before the internet gave up on me. A few pictures from the last couple of weeks.
From top: Mum and I in the newborn nursery with babies Hidaya (5 weeks) and Nancy (12 weeks); Cuddling my beautiful sponsor child Margareth; Lazaro, our cheeky little masai baby playing in the new pool; and all of the toddlers playing happily together.
The grumpy looking cutie at the front of the final picture is Hope, Lazaro's twin sister. Hope and I became lifelong friends when I nursed her after a big fall. I sung Sinead OÇonnor (nothing compares!) and she fell asleep on my chest, listening to the vibration of my voice. Ever since, she regularly climbs into my lap and places her head on my chest, with her thumb in her mouth, in anticipation of more Sinead. And every time I sing to her, she falls asleep in my arms. Possibly the only person I will ever meet who actually finds my Sinead rendition SOOTHING (either that, or passing out is the only way she can live through the sound of a dying cat) ;-)
From top: Mum and I in the newborn nursery with babies Hidaya (5 weeks) and Nancy (12 weeks); Cuddling my beautiful sponsor child Margareth; Lazaro, our cheeky little masai baby playing in the new pool; and all of the toddlers playing happily together.
The grumpy looking cutie at the front of the final picture is Hope, Lazaro's twin sister. Hope and I became lifelong friends when I nursed her after a big fall. I sung Sinead OÇonnor (nothing compares!) and she fell asleep on my chest, listening to the vibration of my voice. Ever since, she regularly climbs into my lap and places her head on my chest, with her thumb in her mouth, in anticipation of more Sinead. And every time I sing to her, she falls asleep in my arms. Possibly the only person I will ever meet who actually finds my Sinead rendition SOOTHING (either that, or passing out is the only way she can live through the sound of a dying cat) ;-)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The home stretch
I have just 10 days left at the baby home.
Sometimes I can't wait to leave. Living with 7 volunteers in the volunteer apartment is sending me bonkers. I miss boyfriend like mad. I have been craving a meal at Montezumas with my sister, and the long wonderful chats that we have. I am so looking forward to having a fresh start in Brisbane in 2010, with renewed energy that I haven't felt for a very, very long time. I get homesick when I hear that all of my special friends are spending time together without me, or see facebook updates of all the roller derby adventures I'm missing!
But my chest tightens when I think about leaving my special friend Rosie. Far out. I would happily change her filthy stinky squelching nappy every single day (without wet wipes!!!) in exchange for her cuddles, and her smile, and her cheeky little chuckle.
I can only pray that her family is able to provide her with a worry-free childhood with enough food, shelter and love to see her reach her full potential. Of course I wish this for every child...but somehow my little monkey Rosie has clawed her way into my heart, and it will be very very hard to let her go!!!!
(Baby, all I want for Christmas, is you!!!!)
Sometimes I can't wait to leave. Living with 7 volunteers in the volunteer apartment is sending me bonkers. I miss boyfriend like mad. I have been craving a meal at Montezumas with my sister, and the long wonderful chats that we have. I am so looking forward to having a fresh start in Brisbane in 2010, with renewed energy that I haven't felt for a very, very long time. I get homesick when I hear that all of my special friends are spending time together without me, or see facebook updates of all the roller derby adventures I'm missing!
But my chest tightens when I think about leaving my special friend Rosie. Far out. I would happily change her filthy stinky squelching nappy every single day (without wet wipes!!!) in exchange for her cuddles, and her smile, and her cheeky little chuckle.
I can only pray that her family is able to provide her with a worry-free childhood with enough food, shelter and love to see her reach her full potential. Of course I wish this for every child...but somehow my little monkey Rosie has clawed her way into my heart, and it will be very very hard to let her go!!!!
(Baby, all I want for Christmas, is you!!!!)
Greed, slothfulness and poverty
I am at a loss as to how to describe the last few days of mum's visit. I am so moved by our experience that my head is still buzzing.
Mum, Janelle and I visited the families of a number of sponsor children who are supported by several Brisbane schools and families. The sponsorship money pays the children's school fees, which includes books, uniforms, and meals during school time. The sponsors were so excited for me to be visiting their kids that they loaded me up with the most wonderful presents to deliver to the children, and we set off for a day of meeting and greeting.
Despite living in extreme poverty, with barely enough money to put food on the table, these children are the most happy, well behaved, delightful little munchkins you could ever hope to meet. They LOVE school, and work so so so hard to better their education. I fell in love with the families of every single child we visited, and walked away from each home with a broken heart that I could not be of more help to them. I would think:
"Moses' family must leave their home - a one room shack- to a smaller place because they cannot afford the rent...but the annual rent probably isn't more than a few hundred dollars for the whole year, if that! I should just offer to pay their rent, considering that I have been known to spend that amount on a [insert expletive here] splurge in Brisbane in just one night!"
But then we would arrive at the next house, where Hemedi's mother lives (also in a one room shack) with her own 4 children, plus 4 of her sibling's children- none of whom can afford to go to school, and I think:
"Why don't I just sponsor the eldest boy to go to school so that they have more than one child getting an education???"
Seven families later, and I've mentally spent my whole salary...and I realise that while you can make a difference to ONE family, there are so so so so so many special people who are fighting for their survival, and it is impossible to help them all.
But then I put mum on the plane yesterday morning and then went to the lodge in my lunch break so that I could have some quiet time to process everything we'd seen. I was lying on my sun bed in my bikini like a fat lazy toad with a cappuccino (the cost of which could probably feed one of those families for a week), and I thought to myself.... "You greedy, disgusting wanka [pardon my French]. Your whole life is full of so much luxury, and waste, and slothfulness-even here in Africa!!!" It is such an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Sometime's it's true what they say "ignorance is bliss"!
In saying that, our visit was not in vain. I had the privilege of meeting my sponsor child for the first time, and let me tell you - she is even cuter in real life than in the photos I have seen!!! She is five years old and is just the chirpiest little angel. And she's a CHILD GENIUS (she takes after her Aussie mum! ;-)). I'm going back next week to play with her :-) We were also able spend time with the families and children so that we can return to Australia armed with information about the sponsorships, to fortify the commitment of all of the Australian sponsors who have been such tremendous support to these children for the past 4 years.
Mum, Janelle and I visited the families of a number of sponsor children who are supported by several Brisbane schools and families. The sponsorship money pays the children's school fees, which includes books, uniforms, and meals during school time. The sponsors were so excited for me to be visiting their kids that they loaded me up with the most wonderful presents to deliver to the children, and we set off for a day of meeting and greeting.
Despite living in extreme poverty, with barely enough money to put food on the table, these children are the most happy, well behaved, delightful little munchkins you could ever hope to meet. They LOVE school, and work so so so hard to better their education. I fell in love with the families of every single child we visited, and walked away from each home with a broken heart that I could not be of more help to them. I would think:
"Moses' family must leave their home - a one room shack- to a smaller place because they cannot afford the rent...but the annual rent probably isn't more than a few hundred dollars for the whole year, if that! I should just offer to pay their rent, considering that I have been known to spend that amount on a [insert expletive here] splurge in Brisbane in just one night!"
But then we would arrive at the next house, where Hemedi's mother lives (also in a one room shack) with her own 4 children, plus 4 of her sibling's children- none of whom can afford to go to school, and I think:
"Why don't I just sponsor the eldest boy to go to school so that they have more than one child getting an education???"
Seven families later, and I've mentally spent my whole salary...and I realise that while you can make a difference to ONE family, there are so so so so so many special people who are fighting for their survival, and it is impossible to help them all.
But then I put mum on the plane yesterday morning and then went to the lodge in my lunch break so that I could have some quiet time to process everything we'd seen. I was lying on my sun bed in my bikini like a fat lazy toad with a cappuccino (the cost of which could probably feed one of those families for a week), and I thought to myself.... "You greedy, disgusting wanka [pardon my French]. Your whole life is full of so much luxury, and waste, and slothfulness-even here in Africa!!!" It is such an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Sometime's it's true what they say "ignorance is bliss"!
In saying that, our visit was not in vain. I had the privilege of meeting my sponsor child for the first time, and let me tell you - she is even cuter in real life than in the photos I have seen!!! She is five years old and is just the chirpiest little angel. And she's a CHILD GENIUS (she takes after her Aussie mum! ;-)). I'm going back next week to play with her :-) We were also able spend time with the families and children so that we can return to Australia armed with information about the sponsorships, to fortify the commitment of all of the Australian sponsors who have been such tremendous support to these children for the past 4 years.
Bugger!!!
The internet's bloody useless again today. I've got some beautiful photos of our new arrival, Amani - a little boy who is 3 weeks old and weighs about 2kg; the toddlers playing in their new baby pool; our growing tribe of sponsor children (in particular, my own angelic, beautiful, cheeky, happy little sponsor child Margareth, who I met for the first time this week); and Mum, Janelle and I carrying on like tourists in the traditional dresses that our friend made for us.
Alas, I must wait for faster connection :-(. Watch this space.....
Alas, I must wait for faster connection :-(. Watch this space.....
Nanna and Nonna visit the brood
Having mum and Janelle at the baby home this week had a really interesting effect on me. The most valuable contribution they brought with them (in addition to the mountains of nappies, toys, clothes, dvds and even a dvd player!!) was the many many wonderful ideas for great activities to do with the toddlers. They gave also Mama Ju some really helpful feedback for making the nursery school a little less hectic for her.
However, seeing their reaction to the mayhem that is mealtime and changing time brought back memories of just how traumatic the first few weeks here were for me. All of a sudden the screaming children, dirty faces, and stinky nappies were distressing to me again, as I was looking at the situation from fresh eyes.
The reality is that we work in one of the best orphanages in Africa. The babies are well loved, well fed, and for the most part very well adjusted. But obviously it is not possible for a handful of nannies and volunteers to give 30 children the same level of care that you could offer your own baby in your own home.
Back at home, I used to gag if I was present in the same room as someone changing a disposable diaper. You think that's bad?? Try changing a cloth nappy which is drenching wet, with poo seeping up the baby's back because it's been squelching around in there for a good hour. It's particularly bad when the babies are fed dark brown malted porridge for breakfast (by God, it's BAD!). Then you finally take the ripe, stinky nappy off the baby and find that there are no wet wipes. So you have to use the outside of the dirty nappy to wipe the excess poo off, then you have to use a clean rag to tidy them up properly. More often than not I sneak the babies under the tap and give their bottoms a good wash. But the nannies get stroppy about this cos it takes up too much time, and there is already a queue of 10 other stinky, ripe, squelching nappies to change!!!!!!!!
I'm getting used to it now (in fact, the first moment I really fell for Rosie was when she had a disgusting stinky nappy on, and when I went to change her she refused to lie down, and then grabbed my arms with a vice-like grip and started dancing naked on the change table with a big grin on her face and did ANOTHER big poo!!!! I thought 'this stinky kid's got character!') - but imagine mum and Nelly's reaction the first time the squelching babies climbed into their lap for a cuddle!! ;-)
Anyway, I apologise for giving far too much information...but it's very very difficult to describe the daily scene of chaos without being a bit vulgar from time to time. Despite the chaos, mum and Nelly each fell for many little munchkins and had a great time with the babies singing, dancing, nursing and feeding! Though they did remark that they would go insane after just 2 days of the madness, let alone 3 months like Mama Rebecca has put herself through!!!!!
However, seeing their reaction to the mayhem that is mealtime and changing time brought back memories of just how traumatic the first few weeks here were for me. All of a sudden the screaming children, dirty faces, and stinky nappies were distressing to me again, as I was looking at the situation from fresh eyes.
The reality is that we work in one of the best orphanages in Africa. The babies are well loved, well fed, and for the most part very well adjusted. But obviously it is not possible for a handful of nannies and volunteers to give 30 children the same level of care that you could offer your own baby in your own home.
Back at home, I used to gag if I was present in the same room as someone changing a disposable diaper. You think that's bad?? Try changing a cloth nappy which is drenching wet, with poo seeping up the baby's back because it's been squelching around in there for a good hour. It's particularly bad when the babies are fed dark brown malted porridge for breakfast (by God, it's BAD!). Then you finally take the ripe, stinky nappy off the baby and find that there are no wet wipes. So you have to use the outside of the dirty nappy to wipe the excess poo off, then you have to use a clean rag to tidy them up properly. More often than not I sneak the babies under the tap and give their bottoms a good wash. But the nannies get stroppy about this cos it takes up too much time, and there is already a queue of 10 other stinky, ripe, squelching nappies to change!!!!!!!!
I'm getting used to it now (in fact, the first moment I really fell for Rosie was when she had a disgusting stinky nappy on, and when I went to change her she refused to lie down, and then grabbed my arms with a vice-like grip and started dancing naked on the change table with a big grin on her face and did ANOTHER big poo!!!! I thought 'this stinky kid's got character!') - but imagine mum and Nelly's reaction the first time the squelching babies climbed into their lap for a cuddle!! ;-)
Anyway, I apologise for giving far too much information...but it's very very difficult to describe the daily scene of chaos without being a bit vulgar from time to time. Despite the chaos, mum and Nelly each fell for many little munchkins and had a great time with the babies singing, dancing, nursing and feeding! Though they did remark that they would go insane after just 2 days of the madness, let alone 3 months like Mama Rebecca has put herself through!!!!!
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